After becoming parents for the first time, the very common question we face is "When you are planning next?" Contrary, at the end of day every couple thinks about not to have any more children. Some of you may not agree with me but at-least we both, husband-wife, feel this way. Our son is 17 months old and we are always on toes in completing our parenting duties. Being a working couple our life is hectic and every other moment we have to priorities things of life. We fear that managing life with two small kids could be juggling. So bringing a new member in our family would be a super serious step. That’s why we often thought to go for a permanent birth control process. But in a committed relationship, who should get snipped when both husband-wife don't want to have any more children?
20-30 years back this question had an obvious answer. Even if the man definitely does not want any more children, the woman should get her tubes tied. But now I expect a different treatment for this question from new age couples. Today when fathers and mothers, both are equality contributing to well being of their kids, permanent birth prevention is one such topic which they toss around every other day. They want to give good future to their kids and for this they plan their families wisely and meticulously. But to decide who should go for getting this surgical (little) procedure done is a tough question. When I expressed this confusion in front of my office mates (ladies) I was shocked to know that people still think its mother’s responsibility to stop producing more babies (even when making a baby needs father as well).
I feel that between husband and wife, whoever is feeling absolutely definite about not wanting any more kids, should be the one who gets the deed done. Sadly I found out that men don’t seem to feel that way. When they for sure do not want any more children, then THEY should go and get a permanent solution for it. Men want to rule the house and they want to take all important decisions for their families then why not decision of having vasectomy? I individually feel its okay to follow husbands and let them take all serious steps for the whole family. But I want them to come forward for solving this birth prevention problem also. We are educated people and we know that there is nothing un-manly in getting vasectomy done. I rather feel it would be a matter of pride for wives and they would love their husbands even more then.
However, I would say one more thing whatever works for your family obviously is the best option. So if husband is not willing to come forward, wife should take this decision. In today’s lifestyle Planned Parenthood is crucial. For me and my family, if my significant other in our committed relationship, for a fact does not want any more children, and I am also sure about it, I would go and get my ovaries shut down. But only if I am willing! Absolutely without any pressure from any one! Now, personally, I am saying that I do not want more kids, AT THIS MOMENT. But I am not totally nailed on that. My husband also thinks on similar track that we don’t want more babies as of now but he sees a possibility of expanding our family in FUTURE. So whenever I make my mind about having another child or about stopping it here only then beyond any doubt I would opt for permanent contraception. Or even let my husband go for it if he wishes.
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