I became a mother 2 years ago and since then I have been reading about “good parenting”. Every now and then I thought about this prefix “good” here. My parents never read any article or any blog for how they should raise their daughters; however, I always say that they are good parents, because I and my sister never found them wrong anywhere.
A few months back I wrote an article that we should correct kids at the very first time when they make mistake and I was astonished to see negative comments about my thoughts. People said that parents should not scold kids, this can hurt them emotionally and make them rebel. My mother has scolded me many times in my childhood but I am not spoiled!
I now find myself surrounded by so many unwritten rules and guidelines of parenting. And as per my feelings, they are simply myths. Have a look at few of them:
Myth 1. Parents should have control over kid’s behavior: My kid has a habit of picking biscuits from guest’s plate and I never get ashamed of his action. It doesn’t mean that I am doing something wrong because I can’t disciple him. Honestly, I can’t control his behavior all the time. And if I am yelling at him,it’s not an incorrect way of parenting. It’s my way, it’s unique and best suited for my family. We, parents, can’t teach everything to our kids since very early age. We should give some time and space to our kids to be kids. I don't see any problem in scolding kids when needed but we should refrain from controlling their creative minds.
Myth 2. There are parenting experts to help other parents: These days parents don’t want to make any mistake so they read right parenting books, join parenting discussions, follow mummy bloggers and seek advice on different parenting sites. In this deep sea of content, they for sure get the solution of their problems. But with due respect to parenting experts, how can they tell anyone how to raise their kids? Every family is different, their circumstances are diverse and every kid is unique. So no one can give a solution of anyone’s problem mare reading a few lines of problem statement. Every parent is expert these days so we should not underestimate ourselves.
Myth 3. Kid’s success and failure define parents: Really? If my son doesn’t get good marks, it never means I am not rearing him well. I don’t know how people start connecting kid’s success and failure with parent’s abilities. If a kid is winning a medal, other parents start establishing a relationship with his parents considering this can improve their situation as well. On the other side, if a child is getting fewer marks, parents refrain talking to his parents thinking them ignorant about their child. No matter if a kid is super talented or an average achiever, we parents only can help and guide him/her, what he/she does is always their personal aptness.
Myth 4. Parents can never do enough: Even though it is told that parents have all the powers, they are always in the impression of doing not enough for their kids. Many of the parents live with a pervasive sense of inadequacy. The insecurity forces them to compete with others, to see our peers' shortcomings as a signs of their superiority, and vice versa. But as parents, we always try to give best to our kids and we need to believe that that is sufficient for living a happy, healthy life. Today I saw a tweet from Genelia Deshmukh (Indian Actress, who is now a mother of two kids) "Sometimes giving your 100% also makes u feel like your not doing in enough". Even she is feeling guilty of doing not enough. But what an answer given my his husband, Ritesh Deshmukh "When you feel 100% is not enough... you know you are a Mother." Really, we can’t give stars and the moon to our kids but what fits in our scope of parenting is always ample.
And I believe if our kids are safe, successful or happy, it is tangible evidence of our parenting success.
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