A few days back, I had a fight with my husband. And as
always happens, after a couple of counter arguments,
I had to stop. The fight was then dominated by my better half and eventually I
was in tears. It’s being four years, I am trying to understand him but I failed
and the cost was always very painful.
During our heated talks, he asked me if I know the meaning of being a wife.
Since then this question is hitting me till deep. Am I not a wife (good or bad
is next thing)? Am I not somebody with whom he wants
to spend his life? Am I having some problem which is hindering me from being a
wife (at least)?
As my profession gives handy, I googled this question, “What
is being a wife?” And I found most of the answers/blogs/posts about this topic are
written by women writers. The first page
of my search result was full of advice from female audience and almost all of
them suggest that women need to do more. But one thing surprised me that there was
no such post in which any male has given suggestion on how to help your
marriage. Or, at least I couldn’t get any on my first search page. I also found
out those posts were divided into two categories. First, n things good wives go
and second, n things good wives don’t do. I went through each of them carefully
but none of the articles can answer my queries. What is being a wife? I have no
courage to ask this very question to my husband who has originated it. I don’t want
him to raise many other questions around this. I am scared of his questing
ability!
Many of us are raised
with the ideologies that a good wife sacrifices everything for her family. A
good wife is patient with her husband's quirk. She never nags, flaunts, or
demands. Okay, I may not be fitting
on each of these criteria but this doesn’t
mean I don’t comply to be a wife. I find this an injustice that my husband is
asking me this question with whom I have spent my four precious years of life.
When for every success of mine, I have given credit to him. When for every
problem, I have taken help from him. And when every of my prayers I have wished
to strengthen our relationship. However,
I feel this is often assumed that relationship problems are meant to be fixed
by women with giving MORE. "Wives are the fixers" pattern is
one I still find despite we are part of a so-called new generation.
Everything has changed and got advanced with
time but there are few things which are still hanging in between. Like, the definition of a good wife and a good mother.
With increasing emotional
weight of being a wife, I often find it suffocating and slaying when I am expected to behave well for whole 365 days. I go
out, meet diverse people, deal with problems, get frustrated with my failures and it is possible I fail to understand
situations at home. I may behave inappropriately but this never means I hate
being a wife. Or, I hate being in this relationship. I have far more value of
this thing in my life and I fall for it. But sometimes I am wrong and I expect
correction then. However, I don’t like this questing over my commitment for being A WIFE. I am picking pieces when our
relationship gets hurt but I need help at times and who better can help me other than my husband! 
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