My typical days
start with heading office with my boy along. After reaching office we both,
mother and son, do our breakfast together and then I drop him to his daycare.
It is in my office building only. Not always, he makes a fuss about going to
his Pinky didi. (Pinky is his attending teacher. She is such a nice soul and
loves my boy so much.) But some days he does. So I take him for a walk outside
to change his mood. We go to the beautiful garden nearby. We collect flowers,
arrange them on grass and enjoy the fresh air. We also talk about how the day
is going to be so exciting for him. I tell him that all his friends Alisha,
Adhya, and others have come and they are waiting for him. Then, I find him
asking about the ‘Others’, the names which I don’t take. Slowly he gives me
signs to join them. I check my watch and without any further delay I hand him
over to his Pinky did.
Many
of my office mates see all this happening LIVE. When I came back dropping my
son to the daycare, they say a disquieting thing “Oh, You dropped him? He was
not willing to go today. You should have spent some more time. He is still a
child.” And then I grin and say “I don’t have any more time.” While going to my
seat, I ask the same question to myself on every such day “Am I a good parent?”
But thank God, I don’t get consumed in judging myself all day.
With close to 3 years of my motherhood trek, I have learned
mammoth of things. The list is sufficiently long. But I have learned another
super important thing that I want to share. Every parent should keep on
reminding him/her that “He/She is a good parent”. Like the shlokas and chants
that we hum every day, we should also mediate this mantra everyday “I am a good
parent.”
We
belong to the generation of parents who spends half of their minds in giving
the best nurturing to their kids. From the best baby products to the best food,
the best utensils, the best outfits and absolutely the best carrying. We, then
give them the best schooling and only the best facilities to rise and grow.
Everything we try is the best we can afford. We sacrifice our dreams and
longings to send our kids for higher studies. We even have learned to live
alone when our kids get settled in any distant city. And still after any
comment from a passerby we start calculating and evaluating our assumptions and
parenting ethics. I am so done with it! Now I don’t care much what others say. If they think I value my
office more than my son, then it’s their shortsightedness. I said ‘much’
here because it’s human nature to get affected by what others say. However,
soon I get my solace back.
My kid is jolly (99% of the time) and he is surrounded by a
fantastic support system (thanks to our extended family, neighbors and his
daycare teachers). He is constantly laughing, he has lots of little friends,
and he is loved more than he will ever know. He is doing well physically and
mentally. He is continuously learning and catching new things as well.
Yes, he is testing my patience with his emotions of being a
three-year-old, and yes, sometimes I feel like crying and eloping, but at the
end of the day I know that I AM A GOOD PARENT.
I agree with a fair amount of points penned in this article, Shipra the most pivotal one being that today's parents have it tougher.
ReplyDeleteA generation or two ago when one of the parents would stay at home as a 'full time' nanny of sorts, today with most urban households being fuelled by both the partners, devoting as much time as our previous generation did is nowhere possible.
It's crucial too since it gives the child an idea that running a household isn't limited to one of the parents. This mindset cements the thought further that at no point can s/he zero in on one as "the sole breadwinner".
Completely second your thoughts Nidhal.
DeleteYa i agee to certain points mentioned in the post. Its really good that the day care is in the same building where your office is.
ReplyDeleteYes Vaidehi..it's the biggest boon of my life.
DeleteIt's so important for mothers to have an identity outside of their mom/wife role. Something they do for themselves. So kudos to you for continuing to work.
ReplyDeleteParents (especially mothers) will be judged, no matter what. But slowly I am learning the mantra you mentioned in this post. It's a treacherous road but I'll get there. Thanks for the reminder via this post.
-Mala
www.momchakra.com
Thank you for understanding me :) You know every parent try their best. It's other people who still judge and comment. Let's break this practice.
DeleteMy baby goes to daycare too and I can relate to this so much. I wish parents would stop judging one another for their choices. Each parent is just trying to do their best for their child in their own unique circumstances.
ReplyDeleteRight.. Even we should be supportive to other.At-least a smile can make things more cooler.
DeleteEach parent has a responsibility and his or her own fight for life be it physical,Mental, Emotional or professional. We must stop judgeing each other at first place. Lovely post.
ReplyDeleteSo agree with you Jiya. We should stop judging other parents for their ways and ethics.
DeleteThis is such a heartfelt post Shipra. Of course you are a great mom and doing a great job of managing home and office both. People judge you no matter what irrespective of you are working or not working. So, keep on rocking my friend and dont think of what others say :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for this support Deepa. See this is what we really need. The support and few bits of applauds can make a mother feel satisfied for her efforts.Love you :)
DeleteWhat a heart warming post dear Shipra. As a working mom I know exactly how this feels and I am proud that we as the breed of working moms choose to turn a deaf ear to those who talk. Way to go girl
ReplyDeleteSo agree with you Akshata. People still judge working mothers and never fail to depress them but the key is to ignore them and keep on believing ourselves. I really admire your for being a strong headed working mother.
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