What To Talk About When We Talk About Fatherhood

Father is important for every child. Children with affectionate fathers are less likely to get involved in crime and lawbreaking. This also means children do better when they get support from both father and mother. It now sounds like obvious. Right? But the science of fathering says something more on top of it.

Fathers are not only the sperm donors but they are equally responsible for making kids what they become in future. However, it all starts with sperms. We mostly blame mothers for ruining their eggs with drugs and alcohol and for passing genetic disorders. But we have little concept of how fathers’ vices might impact the sperm. As per recent studies, the decisions a man makes before conception can have lifelong impacts on his kids. Stressed fathers pass high blood pressure to their kids, alcoholic fathers pass abusive behaviors and poor dietary choices in fathers can lead to negative pregnancy outcomes.

Mothers are advised to have a good care of themselves so that they can produce healthy babies. They are supposed to provide a favorable nutritional, hormonal, and psychological environment to the fetus. But the recent studies show the same thing to be true with fathers. Their lifestyle, and how old they are, can be reflected in gene expression of the babies.

Until 1960 experts did not expect fathers to be involved in the birthing process to give support to mothers. Neither much of the experts adviced fathers to be involved in newborn care. It was generally assumed that early care is better given by mothers. Whereas dads can help toddlers to walk and talk. But the past few decades of research suggests the earlier a father gets involved, the better. Strong early attachment leads to a stronger lifetime bond. 

This is not only for saying that fathers play a critical role in the development of a fetus. After they give their part in cooking up the bun, they are not useless or down until delivery. They are supposed to make a ground with their care and involvement for the very emotional and solid Father Effect. Its importance can never be overlooked. 

Fortunately, most of today's fathers are engaged fathers. An engage, active father is one is always there. One who makes time to listen to the kids, who willingly attends milestones of his children, who does not believe in the age old notion of being only bread earner but the one who himself wants to be present with the kids. Financial support for kids is definitely important but emotional support goes ever longer. That's why todays busiest fathers manage their day to spend quality time with kids. 

A lot goes into making a solid father. Taking healthy decisions before conceiving so that kids can gave the best shot in their lives. Then helping the mother in sailing through the pregnancy starts the bonding with the fetus. Playing with the infant even though he would not recognize you makes the bond even stronger. Enjoying days with toddlers and preschoolers is a joy of different level for fathers. Coaching and counseling teenagers, financially supporting your grown-up kids and then giving twice the love to grandkids, this is all fatherhood of superb quality.

Fatherhood is not only about being the other part of parenthood. It is about being one who can make all wise decision for the kids, starting from the day of conception. It is not a theory anymore, it is all science.

This post is an entry for father’s day contest by kreativemommy

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