You are my hero, Amma..

Dearest Amma,

This is a confession letter of my mine. There was a time when you were not my hero. I used to think that you were weak and emotionally fragile. As a child, I couldn’t understand the life that you were living being a wife and being a mother. I only saw a person who seemed emotionally incapable.
I started looking out the person who could become my role model. I looked at my teachers and women in leading positions. I looked at women who were popular in any sense and I thought Papa was my role model at home. I found some good mentors. But none of them was complete in the way to become my role model for life.

However, in my teen years, my understanding of life got better. I saw you managing home and family issues with ease. I saw you helping Papa in his office tensions. You were a housewife yet you had the ability to find people politics and tactics. I saw you being strict with us, your kids. I hated you many times for scolding us in front of our relatives. I hated you for not letting me wear what I wanted to. I abhorred you for being rigid about talking to boys in public. But I also observed you helping needy and elderly people. I heard you taking your firm stand and raising your voice where needed.

Then I saw you supporting me in pursuing my higher studies in another distant city. I never noticed you crying whenever you came to drop me at the railway station. But all the time, I came to know that you were in bed for days as you were missing me so much. I found you making my favourite dishes whenever I came back home during my holidays. Then came the time when I started doing the job and you were the happiest person. Although Papa took the credit for letting his girls chase their dreams. But I know, Amma, that you were Papa’s strength. That’s why he agreed to take the step which no one in his family ever thought of. You both sent your girls to far cities for hight studies. And fortunately, both of your girls did well. I got married then and I saw you making this event so prosperous and worth remembering. When I saw you touching my husband’s feet, I felt a surge of pain in my heart. Although it was a custom, that day I stopped this custom for my family. No mother would do that now onward.

I didn't truly realize how much of a hero you were until years later when I found myself experiencing post-traumatic stress after the birth of my child. In my heart, I found more and more respect for you then. Since last one and a half year, I am seeing your willpower and positivity in battling with your sickness. You went through such difficult time when you had the lowest energy and very less strength physically. You suffered mental stress and a deep physical discomfort. However, you won the battle. Your strong determination of getting your health back defeated the negativity around.

I realized from that experience that a hero is someone who conquers his/her fears and problems along with a difficult journey, then turns around and helps others along the way. You did all this Amma and that’s why you are a hero. You kept mothering, loving and serving us, your girls, even during your darkest days. And that is what makes you a hero. I didn't recognize it before, but I did when I became a mother, when I was on your feet, trying to make a balance between being a wife and being a mother. I appreciated your courage, even more, when your doctors applauded for your determination. This again proves you a hero.

There was a time when I judged you. I thought you were weak. But now I knew that you are stronger than anyone. I love you for always being there for me and for rest of the family. You are my hero, Amma. I am so proud of you. Wish you lots of happiness and good health in coming years.

Love

Bittu..

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