How To Live Happier?

As per a survey done over millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, most of them said that they wanted to get rich and famous. But is money the secret to the happiness? People say NO, money is certainly not the reason to bring happiness, but should we completely forget the cash? A few times, my wallet was stolen and this never made me happy. Even I was gloomy for days thinking about the cash loss. 

Then how we feel happy? How brain gives us the signals so as to make us feel happy? Happiness is a brain created phenomenon, undoubtedly, but what brain does is never straightforward or simple to understand. Science says there are things called "Happy Hormones" namely dopamine, endorphins, serotonin and oxytocin. Dopamine is mostly linked to happiness. So, if you want to feel happier you need to increase your dopamine levels. However, this is not that simple as it looks. The brain’s functioning is maddeningly complex. And something like "increase this chemical" is never going to be universally and reliably working.

The truth is, happiness is the very subjective term. The experience of happiness varies from person to person. There are N number of "secrets" or "keys" or "ways" to happiness, and barely any of them say the same thing. So many things can affect our happiness; our homes, jobs, friends, past, income, ambitions, relationships, health, age, and so much more. Some time back I got the chance to listen to a Ted Talk that was also about the same topic "What keeps us healthy and happy?". And as I started following the video, I found myself completely hooked on it. I also felt convinced about happiness creation that was explained the video.

Good relationships keep us happier.

  We need enduring-intimate bonds in life. We need to feel like belonged and valued. And we need to feel like we can get support and when needed we can give support. Our healthy relationships contribute to all these thus making us feel happy. Anything we invest to deepen our relationship is something that makes us happier;  our time, energy or money. And we feel happier if we feel secure and connected with strings of relationships.

Three big lessons about happiness (from the Ted Talk) that I noted are:

1. Our social connections are really good for us, and loneliness kills. 
2. No matter how many friends we have, it's the quality of our close relationships that matter.
3. Good relationships not only protect our bodies but our brains as well. 

People who are more socially connected to their family, to friends, to the community, are happier.  They stay physically healthier, their memories stay sharper, and they live longer. Saying this, it is not required to have smooth relationships always, without any conflict or argument. But as long as we feel that we could really count on the others when things are tough, those arguments do not take a toll on our memories. Good memories keep us happy longer Thus, the secret to happiness is good and healthy relationships of our lives. Our bonding with our family and friends keeps us healthy and happy longer.

But why this is so hard to believe and so easy to ignore? We are human. We always look for easy way out. Relationships are messy and complected. It is not always glamorous to give in for keeping these bonds alive. It never ends. But studies have proved that people who lived their lives best were the people who leaned in to relationships. There are many ways to achieve this. Replace screen time with talking to family members. Plan get-together often. Long walks, date nights, family celebrations, or reaching out the friend whom we have not talked for years, there are endless possibilities to keep our relationships going. We are responsible for relationships of our lives and for that matter our happiness. Please remember,

The good life is built with good relationships. Period.

"This post is written for #OpenNTalk Blogger’s League hosted by Gleefulblogger & Wigglingpen in association with SummerBarn, Vedantika Herbals, Nyassa, Explore Kids World.” Follow #OpenNTalk hosts on Twitter @wigglingpen @gleefulblogger

(This blog is based upon Ted Talk video "What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness". Complete credit to the speaker.)

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